Sunday, October 31, 2010

Don't Trust Technology

Daylight Savings Time did not end today. At least for everyone in the country besides me that is.

I woke up this morning at 9:00 am, which was really early considering I did not get into bed until around 1:45 am after the football game last night. I didn't think much about waking up and rolled back over for another hour before my alarm went off at 10:00 am for church. I got up, showered, did my makeup, got dressed, normal Sunday morning things, feeling very awake, considering the amount of sleep I got.

I got in the car at 10:45, but noticed the clock in my car said 11:45. Hmmm...that's odd. I turned on the radio and Ryan Secreast was on the number 3 song (I couldn't remember if this was strange or not because I know I hear the top three on my way to church every Sunday, but apparently it is usually the country countdown). I called my mom, who answered the phone "aren't you supposed to be in church?" I asked what time it was, she said 11:45!

My phone (or the time service it gets) got the Daylight Savings Time ending memo a week too early! Keep in mind last year on Halloween weekend it was DST, but not this year! Around 11:58 (normal standard time) my clock switched back to normal. When I got to church I did manage to show three people so they didn't think I was totally crazy!

Good grief...

Monday, October 25, 2010

Football Apocalypse

That is about the only way to describe college football this weekend. Here is how it went down:

We were walking around Affair of the Heart and I kept checking scores. Texas played Iowa State at 11:00, so the scores were coming in for that. I couldn't believe my eyes as the game progressed and the final score: 28-21 IOWA STATE! UT lost to ISU, at home. Wow.

Oklahoma State had their Homecoming game that day as well against Nebraska, with a kickoff of 2:30. Valerie is an OSU fan, so I kept her updated on the score, which was not all that great. They did lead, once. Pretty much that was the end of the leading. OSU fell to Nebraska 51-41. Not such a happy Homecoming.

I did not post anything about football until after OU's game (I didn't want to deal with the backlash if we lost and I was talking smack). Our game was not, well, pretty. We did not play well. We lost. Really we beat ourselves.

The most apocalyptic part of the day was at the end of the OU game when this came on the screen:

BAYLOR IS LEADING THE BIG TWELVE SOUTH! The only thing to be said about this is: WTF???

We dropped to number 11 in the polls and number 9 in the BCS.

There were lots of funny posts after all the games were played. Mine said something to the effect of: At least we won our Homecoming and at least we beat Iowa State at home.

Another funny one (paraphrased): If I was slated to be the #1 team this week I'd petition to stay #2!

I also put a disclaimer on my post that any negative comments would be deleted to not to waste your time!

My official stance now: I am the biggest bandwagon TCU Horned Frogs fan you can imagine! I hope they go all the way! (Unless of course everyone above us loses and we have a shot at the title!)

An Affair of the Heart

This past weekend was An Affair of the Heart. If you are not from Oklahoma I will explain what AAOTH is. Basically it is a giant craft show. It takes up all the buildings on the Oklahoma State Fairgrounds. I learned many lessons this year from AAOTH.

1. You will spend money that you don't need to spend.

2. Don't wear ballet flats.

3. The second pair of "comfortable" ballet flats that you pack in your purse are still not acceptable.

4. Don't wear Ugg-like boots either.

5. Before I have a child (or tomorrow :)) I need to purchase an embroidery machine. It will end up better than free! At $29.95 for a onesie with a cute saying on it (that I could do if I had a machine) it will pay for itself many times over. (I did come home and price them and they are not nearly as bad as I thought!)

Here are the fun things that I bought (not all of them, just the fun ones!)

Isn't it the truth? I hadn't seen this quote before and loved it! It will go great in my bathroom when I redecorate it!

I love these. I always have and Imagine is my favorite word. I did not buy the mat to go with it because I am going to do a different technique (that I saw at another craft show!), so I'll post when I do that. :)

They also had a TON of people with hot tea, coffee and hot chocolate. That was apparently the "thing" this year. I got cinnamon chocolate coffee, Mexican hot chocolate and white hot chocolate! This ALMOST makes me ready for cold weather! I also got a really cute scarf to go with my coats, so maybe I'm ready for winter and the holiday season.

Overall it was a really fun weekend. I had a great time with Valerie and Brittany shopping and cannot wait until the February AAOTH!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

I Hate the Ice Cream Truck

Really, I do. My coworkers got to hear this today.

The ice cream truck "Summer Song" or something like that goes through my neighborhood ALL THE TIME! I hate everything about it! The truck is icky looking and should be prettier if children are going up to it, it just looks dirty. The guys in the truck are usually equally as creepy. And don't even get me started on the song! I HATE THAT SONG! It is possibly the most annoying thing in the entire world!

I have posted some serious stuff lately so I thought I'd lighten it up a bit with a silly rant. If you are an ice cream truck driver, love an ice cream truck driver, or just love the ice cream truck, I'm sorry this offended you, but no one has ever said I'm not honest! :)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I Heart Grad School

Tonight I had a great grad school moment. I walked out of class and talked to a couple of girls in my group in the hallway. We were talking about traveling and random stuff. Our professor walked past, went to his office with a couple of our classmates and then came back down. We ended up standing around talking (the four of us classmates and our professor) for about an hour after class. This is the kind of thing that I can never remember happening when I was in undergrad, but happens quite a bit in grad school. I just love it! It is exactly what I thought grad school always would be. (Granted my main view of grad school before I got there came from The Last Supper which is an awesome movie, lots of philosophical, world issue discussions, no murders though). That's all for tonight, but I just really love grad school! Crazy, huh?

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Day Ten

Ten Days: Day Ten: One Confession

Hmmm...what to confess? There could be my undying love for...

um, nope. Or I could confess that I cheated on...

don't think so!

Instead a little more about me.

For years and years I proclaimed that I wanted a "normal" life: one husband, one wife, two children (a boy, then two years later a girl) with matching initials both born before my thirtieth birthday. I wanted to be a stay at home mom; I wanted a husband who would work and make all the money that we needed to live in our perfect 2600 square foot home, complete with a formal dining room and a swimming pool (with perfect landscaping). I did not want anything that could be considered "odd" or "strange" by my children's friends or anything that they would have to explain. One job per adult (mine, of course, would allow me to work at home and just make "play" money). I wanted this for a long time.

This life was the stark contrast to the one I grew up in. My parents were 36 and 39 when I was born. My mom worked outside the home, my dad was self employed (with about 15 businesses running through the house). We went on business trips all the time and I missed a lot of "normal" kid things (Homecoming namely). Not to mention I had to explain all the "cowboy" stuff (I will not do this here, sorry!).

Needless to say, personality wise, I am about a 180 from my parents. I always have been and probably always will be. I yearned for the lives that my friends have: the "status quo."

John Lennon said: Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. That quote completely describes my life!

For starters I did not meet my husband-to-be in college and did not get married the summer after graduation and did not start having babies in the amount of time deemed appropriate. Instead I started a job, that I didn't love, but ended up meeting wonderful people. I dated a guy: FAIL. I dated another guy and fell in love. We broke up, got back together, broke up, got back together, broke up, got back together, got a dog, broke up, got back together, bought a house, got another dog, got another dog, got ANOTHER dog, got engaged, bought another house, planned a wedding, and forty-one days before he called it off.

Um...where do I go from here?

My whole perfect house (almost the size I wanted, but no formal dining room, but with the pool!), two children, stay-at-home mom dream was dashed. Here I was 27, approaching 28, and back at square one. I was devastated to say the least. There were days that I just prayed and prayed that we would get back together and all would work out like my plan. In the end that was not the plan for me.

I found a great church a few months later, found wonderful friends, all was perfect again. I was single, but I was okay with that. I healed from the relationship. Then, all of a sudden, the sermons started to be about "taking risks" and "walking through open doors." ARG! Stupid challenges! I never met one that I didn't go for. I started, very lightly, thinking about grad school. It was a crazy idea. What would I do? What did I want to do? Where did I want my life to go? I had figured out, during this time, that I love people and I want to help people. I mentioned this to my wonderful best friend who used the lowest of the low argument for why I should go to grad school: what are you going to tell your daughter if you had the opportunity to go to grad school and didn't do it? REALLY??? Using my yet to be conceived child against me? Did it work? OF COURSE!

A short time later, there I was applying to OU, not really sure how I was going to pay for it, writing a personal statement, getting my three recommendations. My mom got the scholarship information from my tribe (the Chickasaw Nation...stop your laughing, I am 13/256 which, with a CDIB card, is the perfect amount to have grad school totally paid for!) I applied, and found out that I got in on a Thursday; the semester started the following Tuesday! I enrolled in what I could, got snowed in, slipped and slid to get books, got all my scholarship stuff turned in and was off on a new adventure!

In the meantime of all of this, all my wonderful new (and old) friends did the unthinkable: they all got pregnant. Seriously there must have been something in the water. This was HARD. I want to be a mom more than anything in the world and here was everyone around me, even those that weren't trying, getting what I wanted. Pretty much everywhere I went was hard to deal with. Watching them find out the sex, go register, have showers, prepare for labor, have the beautiful babies and get to be mommies; I'm not going to lie, I love them all, but there were moments (days, weeks) that I was not happy for them. I was angry. This was supposed to be MY time, and it wasn't.

Then I went to Austin.

I had a crush on a boy who liked indy music. (Oh yeah this was not a secret to anyone, though I'm not saying names!) My friend Lucy was going to South by Southwest (which I went to my last year in undergrad). It was the week of spring break and I had Friday off. I only had to take off one day and got to be gone for four days. I had been talking to a guy and realized that he was lonely and I enjoyed talking to him, however he just wanted to be with someone (or that was my perception of the situation). On the way to Austin this hit me. And I did not like it, one bit. I was better than being "insert girl here" into someones life.

That's when it hit me: I had concocted this amazing life and was just looking for "insert guy here." Uh oh. If I didn't want to be that person, why on earth would I want to be with someone who would settle being that person?

I also realized that I like the extraordinary! I don't want just a simple life! I want it to be fabulous and wonderful and I want people to look at my life and say "wow!" That is truly what I want. I want to make an impact. I want to change the world. I fought this for a long time. I kept pushing it out of my brain: this was NOT what was going to happen to me, I just want simple. Now, though, I have chosen to embrace it.

On that trip it was like a light went off. Here I was in Austin, which is such a fun city, part of the time I was with my friends, part of the time we went our separate ways to see different shows. I discovered some awesome bands, that I now love (check out 100 Monkeys, Carney, Lynhurst, and The Honey Brothers!). Most importantly, as I was driving around on Sunday, before I left, it just hit me: all of my friends are experiencing some awesome things right now (marriage, kids, etc.), but I get to experience all kinds of things right now too! I am getting to have amazing experiences and I get to be selfish for a little bit of my life. I put others first a lot and above myself a lot. I still have plenty of time to have all those things that my friends have.

The time will come for me to meet that special someone (or if I have already met him: when I figure out that he's who I'm supposed to marry) and get married and have babies. For awhile, post breakup, I thought that if by the time I turned 30 I was not in a committed relationship that would lead to marriage (starting to sound like If Lucy Fell? no the plan was not to jump off a bridge) I would just go it alone: pick out the perfect sperm donor and have a baby by myself. This whole blog thing actually changed that one: I read a blog that has a seemingly perfect husband and wife and an adorable daughter. Reading their blog, which I love to do, I see all the fun of having both parents and the baby and I think it is worth the wait!

In the meantime I am going to enjoy every day, for what it is, not as a stepping stone for what comes next. I will have all these amazing memories that I get to keep forever! I have amazing people that surround me and I always will. Some of the names and faces will change, but I choose to surround myself with the most extraordinary people!

This whole outlook was hammered home this summer when I met (finally) an amazing woman named Beth. I had heard about Beth for the last 20 years. My "adopted" grandparents when we were on the road were Teddie Jo and Charlie. Sadly, Charlie passed away last June. My mom and I went to Dallas for the funeral and at the lunch after we got to meet Beth. Beth dated their son, Blake, but they didn't exactly work out. Beth is now married, though she didn't get that way until later in life, has a beautiful son, and is happy as a lark as a stay-at-home mom. She lived her life and had all the experiences that I am having right now, then she got everything else she wanted (or that I assume she always wanted!). It was so encouraging hearing her tell me that I was on the right track! It was even more encouraging to see that she'd lived through all this and totally came out on top!

Okay, so that's Day Ten! The culmination of the Ten Day Challenge! It was a long one! What have I learned from this challenge?

I want to write! I mean I really do! I have already started outlining my first novel. I thank each of you that is reading this blog (and my current writing outlet) for all the encouraging words you have said about me having a talent to write. I know I don't have the best grammar in the world, but I have an amazing editor (who is having a baby girl tomorrow!) and I really, really love writing.

In the meantime of all of this I have also figured out that I DO NOT want to be a therapist! Great profession, totally think that, but I just don't feel that I would make the impact on the world that I want to. Hopefully I can take all the classes I need to prepare me to start a non profit in a year or so and can work it where I can have babies at work with me, surround myself with my friends who have the same passion that I do, and write!

Thank you to everyone who was mentioned in this blog, whether with or without names, you have truly impacted my life!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Day Nine

Ten Days: Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.

I don't like this day. I don't think I can describe my life via smiley. Instead I will leave you with a whole bunch of smileys from our good friends at Wikipedia:

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Day Eight

I got in trouble this morning because I didn't post yesterday! Brittany scolded me! :( I did post before I went to bed, but yes, technically, it was this morning. I am posting early so I don't get in trouble today! I am also working on some more ideas like the "Ten Days" thing that I can write all at once and then post throughout the week. If you have any suggestions feel free to share!

Ten Days: Day Eight: Three turn ons.

1. Eyes

2. Amazing husband potential

3. Amazing father potential
(Sorry this one was pretty short. I know what I want! :) If you want to read more then check out my Homecoming post.

Chicken Dance=Chipotle?

Yes it does! :)

Yesterday was Homecoming at OU. I took my favorite guy: Sheldon Sechrist! Last week the poor little thing broke his elbow playing leap frog at Youth (not my youth group, I would like to mention), so he is in a soft cast for the time being. This kid LOVES his football, especially OU football. He was the natural choice to take to the Homecoming game. He was decked out in his OU finest, including sprayed red hair.

When we got to Campus Corner we were walking through and stopped at the Chipotle tent because they had a spinning wheel of prizes. He spun first and won chips and salsa. We were shooting for the "dinner for two" spot, so that we wouldn't have to pay for dinner that night. I spun and landed on "embarrassing dance". Well I thought that meant the guy on the other side of the table would dance for, no. I was supposed to do an embarrassing dance: UGH! Then he told me what I would win if I did: dinner for four! This included burritos, drinks and chips and guac! Heck yeah! I did a nice (and very quick) version of the chicken dance!

We went to the parade and stood with my friend Mindy from work and her kiddos. My complaint on the parade is this: the entries are too far apart, so it got a little bit boring. The theme of Homecoming this year was Sooner Magic. The floats were great (though in no way, shape or form do I miss doing all the Homecoming stuff from undergrad). My favorite was "Sam Bradford's Journey to the Heisman" with a model of his famous touchdown somersault from Bedlam 2008. Mindy and I agreed that this pose should be his Heisman statue! Who knows if they will do that, but I know a lot of Sooner faithful that would love it.

We met up with Kara and Kris after the parade. Kara was almost on time for the parade and early for the game! Yay! We had our burrito (bowls) and headed through Campus Corner toward the stadium. The radio guys (I guess they were radio guys, they had mikes and were all set up) outside of Louie's were doing "celebrity look alikes". Sweet Sheldon got caught as Eminem. They asked how he hurt his arm and he told them the real story. They made him come up with a better one: "I got in a fight with Chuck Norris with a beebee gun!"

The game was great: 52-0, just the way I like it. It is for certain that we do not like our "coach" neighbor. He did not approve of Kris standing up for the game and proceeded to complain about how the team was playing again. Even better news of the day: Ohio State (1) and Nebraska (5?) both lost, meaning OU bumped up to number three in both polls today. Yay! BCS comes out soon, so we'll see. OSU won. Yay, I guess. I know that we need them to be ranked as high as possible when we play them in order to help our cause, but I really hate when they win!

After the game was over we went to PassionBerri on the Corner for some froyo (yes I said "froyo" I like saying "froyo" deal with it :)). We listened to the Sports Animal broadcast for a few minutes and really only heard them talking about their daughters and putting colored streaks in their hair. I ran into my elementary/middle/high school friend Drew and his dad and caught up for a bit. Drew played in The Pride (OU's band) and is now the band director at Pauls Valley High School. I went for Landon's game against PVHS last week and got to see Drew's band. They are awesome!

That's about all for the excitement that is OU Homecoming. :)

Day Seven

Ten Days: Day Seven: Four turn offs





Okay for real

1. Codependency: I struggled with it for a long time and probably always will, but finally realize why it is so bad and it really makes me sick when I see other people doing it to themselves.

2. Lack of ambition: I am ambitious, to say the least. I want someone who is equally so. Education level is not as important as knowing what you want and achieving it.

3. Cheating: Been there, done that, and will NEVER let it happen again. (meaning being cheated on, not doing the cheating)

4. “Dis”: as in dishonesty and disrespect: If I have to explain these to you I have no interest.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Day Six

I cheated :-/

Ten Days: Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

I have too many for this!!!! I am going to do categories (which, by the way, will be the next blog series!)

1. High School Best Friends

2. College Best Friends

3. Guy Best Friends

4. Adult Best Friends

5. “You Don’t Have to Have Common Blood to be Family” Best Friends

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Day Five

Ten Days: Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.

This day is a hard one for me because I cannot answer it. Rather I will explain why. There is nothing that I wish I had never done. Not one single thing. Ever single thing, good or bad, smart or dumb, I have done has made me who I am today. I will, of course, admit some of these decisions might not have been the best, or might not have been at the best time, but I learned from them. There, of course, are some of those things when I am far enough removed from them I look back and laugh or shake my head and wonder why I could have ever been so silly, but so long as I learned a lesson then it was worth my time.
No regrets, best way to live, if you ask me.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The More Things Change The More They Stay The Same...

So today is a big blogging day apparently!

Last night after Junior League general meeting I was driving around talking on the phone (BAD cell phone reception at my house) and happened to drive by the Wesley Foundation around 9:00, which happens to be when Vespers starts, I decided to stop by!

In I went. This was the first time I had been to Vespers since I graduated college in 2004. There was a change in directors during this time. The current director and I started college and at Wesley at the same time. The service was nice, the worship was nice, and overall it was about the same as I remember. A whole different group of students, but there was a familiarity to it: kind of like going home again.

At the end of the service I sat down with Janey, the Associate Director (who I have become friends with planning the CrossTimbers/BridgeView golf tournament), and some of the girls. They could have been my friends and me when I was in college. One of the girls has a relatively unhealthy (in a fun way!) crush on a certain OU football player. I have NO idea who she might be like from my group. [Insert whistling and looking around from me] I told fun stories of sitting in a certain class because a certain football player was in the class and even taking tests. (In my defense I was friends with the teacher, so I could do that and he thought it was funny.) There was the girl in the very serious relationship (they were married already and none of my friends got married until after graduation). There was the girl that was super involved with church outside of Wesley. There was the super cute girl who I can't really make specifically compare to anyone in our group personality wise, but she could have fit in!

Overall I ended up staying there talking and laughing until way too late at night. In a weird way it felt like visiting with my old college friends. It is funny how the faces have changed, but the little groups are exactly the same. The sermon was part one of two, so I will be going back for another little visit down memory lane next Tuesday (any college friends that want to come with me, come on! Pizza is at 8:30 (I think?) and Vespers at 9:00, which is REALLY late for this old lady!)


We had an earthquake today!

The day started with the preparation for the director of the division that I work for coming to visit. I managed to get my “cubbie” all cleaned up and nice and neat, except for a stack of docking stations just around the corner from my desk. I loaded them up on a cart and took them to my storage area (which is a wee bit full following our office merge). I left the room and walked to my friend Brianne’s desk.

All of a sudden, the building started to shake. I live in Oklahoma; earthquake was NOT at the forefront of my mind as to what the rumble could have been. I thought that the two huge metal cabinets that I have full of computer equipment had fallen to the floor (a thought I did not like because I would then have to clean up the mess before the director got there). A mass exodus then began to get out of the building (avoiding the elevator, of course!). Half the office grabbed car keys and purses and headed out of the building. I headed out of the building too, because we thought maybe a truck had ran into the building. (Again, I live in Oklahoma, we do not have earthquakes; well not ones that you can feel at least.) After our county director went to the fairgrounds to see if they felt it too the texts, calls, facebook posts, etc. started to come in that others felt it and indeed: we had an earthquake!

The official stats:
The United States Geological Survey has reported a 4.3 magnitude earthquake 6 miles to the east of Norman, OK.

On facebook there were reports of feeling it in Tulsa, Ada, Yukon, even down south near Ardmore and up towards Kansas. I even heard a coworker talking to someone on the phone who said they felt it in Tennessee. I don’t know much about earthquakes, but that seemed a little far fetched. Oh well.

It was my first earthquake, or at least the first one I felt. People freaked out. I wish I had known what it was when it happened, maybe I would have freaked out a bit more, though I doubt it, natural disasters don’t generally freak me out.

Happy earthquake day!!!

Day Four

Ten Days: Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

1. Being a mom

2. Possibly not being able to have children

3. Meeting my future husband

4. To LPC or not LPC, that is the question

5. Graduation plans

6. Databases

7. How I am going to do all that I want to do with my life

Day Three

Ten Days: Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

1. Have a good relationship with God

2. Have the potential to be an amazing husband and live up to it in all relationship statuses

3. Have the potential to be an amazing father

4. Kiss my forehead

5. Call me out on my BS (though I may glare at you for it)

6. When you are proud of me, say it, and mean it

7. Be there for me, for whatever it may be: catastrophic incident or needing help doing the laundry or holding me during thunderstorms!

Monday, October 11, 2010

My Favorite Place on Campus...

I posted this on facebook earlier:  In my favorite place on OU's campus writing a paper...anyone know where I am?

These are the responses I got:

"The library the one with no books?"
"Reading room"
"I see you sitting on steps somewhere."
"Owen field"
"Student Union"
"The fountain between the admin building and the business school. Or the bulldozer next to the stadium. Or the phone booth on the south oval. Wait! The spoonholder!"

and the winning comment was..............

"The Great Reading Room" (Angela F. gets credit with "reading room" and Angela M. was close with "Library", Robin was not close with "Library with alcohol and no books"!)

I LOVE this place! This room, with its ridiculously high ceilings, huge tables to spread out on, beautiful architecture, is also called the Great Red Reading Room. The reason: all of the thesis's and dissertations are bound in red leather and line the walls. I have loved this place since my freshman year of college. I remember going there between classes with my discman to study (yes, I did just say discman). Now, the exciting part about this a little over a year MY thesis should be there too! How cool is that???

Day Two

I'm supposed to be writing a paper for my online class, which I am, and for the record I wrote this last night! I did almost all the days last night, just posting them on the appropriate days!

Ten Days: Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
1. I want to be a writer. I have for as long as I can remember, but never thought I had the talent for it.

2. I want identical twin girls, have since I was 6.

3. I want to be a mother more than anything in the world.

4. I LOVE grad school! I can hardly believe I am saying this.

5. I am really independent, but totally scatterbrained and need someone to remind me to do the things that I can live without doing (laundry, oil changes, you know practical stuff)

6. I tend to get lost in relationships. I think I am in a “drought” to keep me from doing this again. I need to be 100% certain of “me” before I fall in love again.

7. I am a fixer, which is a double edge sword. I have to learn I can’t fix people, just myself. I want to fix everyone and take their cares away, but who would I be if I didn’t go through all I did? It’s not fair of me to take away those things from someone else.

8. I have a lot of friends (there is evidence in the number I have on facebook, which, by the way, I know every single one, I don’t just go around adding people to look popular). Those friends come from all kinds of different eras in my life. They all mean the world to me. I have always been this way. I can remember birthday parties when I was in elementary school when no one would know each other: this friend from school, that friend from dance, this friend from forever ago, etc. My birthday party this past summer is evidence that I am exactly the same way. I like it like that. I makes me feel more well rounded.

9. I will change the world. Sound like a lofty goal, huh? Not a goal for me, just a fact.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Day One

Ten Days: Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now. (Names not included)

1. You are my favorite person. I love and worry about you like you were my own child. My main worry is that you have such high expectations of yourself that you will not reach your dreams because you feel like you could do better than your dreams. I pray that you allow yourself to chase your dreams and know that they are what is best for YOU, not everyone around you.
2. You believe in me when I don't. You see the good in me when I don't. You know exactly what to say not only to make me feel better when I'm upset, but the right thing to frustrate the dickens out of me and challenge me. I can't believe the short amount of time that I've known you, but can't imagine life without you.
3. I am at peace with you. I want the best for you, but I don't know if you are trying to attain that for yourself and I pray that you do. I would not change a moment of the time I have spent with you and am thankful for all the laughter and each tear you caused; you made me the person that I am today.
4. You are my best friend. Hands down. We had a few rough patches, but you know me better than I know myself most days. I cannot imagine my life without you and going just a few days without communicating in some way just seems unnatural. I can see us at 90 in the nursing home still trying to figure out the gossip about old Gert and Homer and what they are up to! Nothing can stop us when we put our heads (and stubborn streaks) together.
5. Where do I start with you? You frustrate me more than anyone on the face of the planet. You don't listen to what you say; your words don't match your actions, your actions don't match your words, your words don't match each other and neither do your actions. Most days I want to ring your neck. But I love you and I can't help it. I have for too long to stop now. I don't know that you get me any more than the others, but I certainly get you better than most in your life. I just pray that you'll figure yourself out one of these days. If you do who knows what the future might hold?
6. I would not be who I am without you. Not only did you shape me into the leader that I am, you also started my spiritual walk and for that I am beyond grateful. As I have gotten older you have become a true friend that I can count on for anything. You are the one that, when I think that life has completely shattered around me, reminds me how strong I am. (Plus you have this amazing karmic power which you have passed onto me!)
7. I don't know you that well. Frankly we have only talked in person once, however you remind me that I am on the exact right course for me. Your life shows me that there is hope and happiness and that I'm doing everything exactly right. You are a constant guiding light that came into my life at the exact moment that I needed it and I pray will stay for a long time. I don't think it is a coincidence as to how I met you, or the timing of it. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for forging the path that I will follow.
8. I pray for you constantly. You are the one person that truly knows me, though I don't know if I have met you yet. I know about God's timing and I know in my heart that it is not time for us to be together, but I do wonder if I have met you! You are my partner, my friend, my lover, my confidant, but not my other half. You cannot be that for me. I have to be myself 100% before I can be anything to you. When I do meet you, and know who you are, I have to be okay being me, not being who you want me to be, and that is what I love the most about you: you will love me for exactly who I am at any given moment, not who I think I should be.
9. I love you more than words can describe. I pray for you every day and you are always on my mind. The love I have for you is immeasurable and I yearn to make every moment a wonderful memory. I want everything in the world for you and will do whatever I can to help make your dreams come true, because YOU are my dream come true.
10. This is the hardest one for me to write. You are strong; though most of the time you don't feel it. You are beautiful; though most of the time you don't see it. You are smart; though you always think that everyone else knows more and has it all figured out. You can accomplish anything that you set your mind to, and you know that. You don't need to be saved, but you want to be. You love too much, too deeply, for too long, but that passion is what drives you. You are loyal to a fault. You put others ahead of yourself, but you feel selfish, a lot. You are a good person. You WILL change the world, and while you are trying that you will also change yourself.


11. I will say who this is about - AUTOSAVE! Thank you for saving this heartfelt post every few seconds so when stupid me accidentally hits the back button and can't go forward this was not lost!!!!

Ten Days

First entry will be an explanation. My friend Kara started this. She got to day three before I decided I might want to do it. Of course, I don't like things sneaking up on me so I googled to see what the other seven days were! I think I can handle it! :)

Sunday, October 3, 2010

World Communion Sunday

Well it has been a minute since I blogged, huh? I have many, many posts that I will try to catch up with this week, but this one is pretty important, so we'll start with it. :)

Today is World Communion Sunday.

Basically throughout the world churches all celebrated the gift of communion. That is awesome! Even more awesome is that I got to serve today in worship! Now this isn't all that different than any other Sunday, as that's one of my "duties", "assignments", "random thing Chris talked me into doing without actually asking" at CrossTimbers. I LOVE communion, so this is one of my favorite tasks at CT.

We started a new sermon series this morning as well: Never the Same. Through it Chris is going to preach on the history of CT. CrossTimbers has had a HUGE impact on me over the last fourteen months, and even in the nine months before I got the courage to meet up with the women's group that first Saturday. Our "random act of kindness" for the week was to ask someone for their story. You know more than the "hi, how ya doin?" story; the real story of who they are and how they got here. If you go to CT I'm going to share mine, or a piece of mine, for you (I think you should still go out and ask someone else, but here is a "warm up" :))

For most people communion is pretty special, but through my spiritual walk it has always been a BIG deal. There are two main reasons:

The first has to do with watching the body of Christ as everyone walks through the line. (Sidebar, I hate making eye contact and generally speaking I don't do it, except during communion.) Watching everyone go through and accept this amazing gift of new life is just so special to me. For several years I forgot how much this meant to me. During the wedding planning phase I wanted to serve communion at my wedding, I always have, yet during that period in my life I did not feel worthy of it. I hadn't been in church, on a regular basis, in years and I think I wanted it so badly to prove something to God and to myself. I still want communion at my wedding, maybe more now than ever. I want the husband (whoever he may be) and I to serve everyone. I think this is an incredibly powerful way to have contact with every guest (you can bet I will be doing the bread and not the wine/grape juice, you know big white dress...uh no! I serve the bread each week now anyway since no one else seems to want to!) I feel beyond honored to get to server communion each Sunday. I love the feeling of seeing my church family go through the line and really seeing them. It is so incredibly powerful to watch Christ's love in each one of those wonderful people's eyes.

The second reason has to do with a pastor friend of mine making what seemed like a crazy suggestion my sophomore year of college. Brett Thomasson came and lead a class at the Wesley Foundation's leadership group about the sacraments. He told us about how he had a friend who gave up communion for Lent. Being my typical self I couldn't keep my mouth shut and proclaimed how stupid I thought this was. He looked at me point blank and said, each time that you take communion do you REALLY think about what it means? At WF we took communion every Tuesday and I had to admit it had become quite routine. I decided that the next year I would give up communion for Lent and just see what happened. Instead of taking it I sat in my chair and really thought about the meaning and prayed about it. I had NO idea what would happen next. During that Lenten season one of my very favorite people in the world lost his father to a courageous battle with lung cancer. During his battle my friends and I (the prayer card ministry of the WF) prayed and prayed for him and sent card after card. He would write us back and this man's faith was absolutely astounding. The funeral was to take place the first Saturday of Spring Break: smack dab in the middle of Lent. No big deal right? Yeah it was. I had never seen communion served at a funeral until that day. I sat in the pew wondering if it was right to "break" my Lenten promise for this. I don't think I really wrestled with it all that much to be honest; it really was a no brainer. I can still remember everything about taking communion that Saturday. The song that was playing was "I can only imagine" by MercyMe (Imagine happens to be my favorite word in the entire world). It was possibly the most meaningful experience of my life, or at least top ten. :) I am sure that had I not given it up for Lent that year it would have been just as special, but I think it was just enhanced that much more because of that promise I made. I guess sometimes breaking a promise is the best thing that can happen to you.

So happy World Communion Day to you all. If you haven't been to church in a while it might be the right time to try it again. (CrossTimbers worship is at 11:00 am every Sunday at 3004 S. Sunnylane in Moore :))