One of the best things (if there was a font for sarcasm I would be using it now) about living in a college town is sorority rush. I think they technically call it recruitment now though. I have no problems with those that choose the Greek life, though I was not one of them, lots of people that I love very much were Greek. However rush begins the sad times if you live in a college town. During the summer and at Christmas the town is dead. Traffic is manageable. Stores are empty. Then rush starts, then freshman move in, then all the rest of "them" come back and the town is huge again. Of course with that also comes college football, which I am quite fond of (though I would like a private screening room with climate control).
Nonetheless the students come back and Norman goes back to being a college town. With their impending arrival I've been thinking about the word "rushing" and what it means to me. Rushing to me has nothing to do with walking around to twelve huge houses in 100+ degree weather. The word rush has taken on a whole new meaning that I've been thinking a lot about over the last week.
I rush, a lot. I rush to keep up with other people in my life. And it is ridiculous. I spent my twenties rushing to keep up with the "MWCs" (married with children). I did what I could to do what they did: buying a house, getting the boyfriend that I knew I could marry, and so on. When that didn't all work out I felt like I was back at square one and I was REALLY far behind. Then because I had done all of this I felt like I was stuck in this life that I created.
I tend to be impatient if I want it, then I want it now. I rarely just take time and let life happen, I rush things. That's how I've always been. I have described myself, a lot, as the girl that watches the television show just to get to the end to see the previews for the next week's show. That is just how my life has always been. I always want the best and I want it now. I don't give life time to happen to me I make it happen. To some extent this isn't that bad of a thing because I go after what I want and take it, but it is bad because I am letting life slip by because I am just trying to reach the next goal. This is not to say that having goals is a bad thing, because it isn't. What is a bad thing is thinking that I have to do everything right now.
In reality I'm only 30 and there is a good chance I'm going to be around this world for a few more decades. I don't have to do everything right now. I have some time. I don't have to just do things to mark them off a check list and add to my resume.
It seems like I rush through these things just to sit and wait. In my lovely little town it seems like everyone is married and has kids. I feel like I have to wait for my "real" life to begin and I'm tired of that.
So this is what I am working on (again): living in the moment. Enjoying now for what it is and knowing that I don't have to have everything right now. That being said I have some big plans that I am working on for next year. BIG plans. Some of you have heard about them and some haven't. Since it is SO big I'm not going to talk about it here. I have started another blog that is chronicling them. If you are interested send me a message or leave a comment and I'll send you the link. This is something so big that I am very gently breaking the news to people and I don't want them to just read about it on the internet.
In the last week I have figured out that I haven't dug myself into such a hole that I cannot get out. I am only thirty and I have all the time in the world to get all the things I want in life, even if some of those dreams are quite big. There is plenty of time. I only have myself to answer to and I'm going to start living my life on my terms and by my rules. I have had nothing but positive feedback on this little plan of mine (which is crazy because I think I'm nuts), which is encouraging. Time will tell if I can pull it off, but as the days go by it seems more and more likely that I can. I guess like they say, where there's a will there's a way.
Big things are coming in my life. I've always had a feeling about year 30 and the year 2012. It's going to be big. Very big. And I am beyond excited to see what it has in store for me.