The OU Undergrad Female Uniform

So I am at Panera for lunch yesterday and in front of me in line are two college girls. They both had long, brown, straight hair; the same length. They each had on denim leggings and tan UGGs. They both had on black fleece jackets (one was Columbia and one was NorthFace…BIG difference). They each pulled out from their matching designer purses a Tory Burch wallet. They proceeded to complain about how someone had said that they had the same wallet. Now to the untrained eye they appeared to be IDENTICAL. Okay let’s be realistic they WERE identical, or I couldn’t tell the difference between the two and I know the difference between magenta and fuchsia, lemon and canary, eggshell and ecru, and I couldn’t see a bit of difference. Not to mention, why did they care if they were the same wallet? They had on matching uniforms!


This got me thinking about exactly how much they were wearing. I didn’t pay attention to jewelry and this is just face value, what I looked up and found quickly on the company website, but here you go:

Louis Vuitton Shoulder Bag: $785

Tory Burch Wallet: $225



UGG Boots: $140



“Jeggings” (Gap): $69.50

NorthFace Jacket: $165

DRUMROLL PLEASE!!!!!




Grand total: $1384.50


ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????

I am a spoiled brat. I live in a large home, with a pool, by myself and two purebred dogs. I have nice things and I find this RIDICULOUS! I swear kids have gotten more and more spoiled as the years have gone by. This was not the norm when I was a freshman in college. Now it seems if you don’t have at least one Coach bag you are not normal. I find bags that I like and by spending less I can have more! The same goes for shoes. I have tons, but most of them are not name brands. I am proud of my $15 plum stilettos from Ross that are SO cute! I guess we each put value on different things because I do have plenty of fine jewelry!

This did get me thinking about kids and parents these day. I think there are a lot of parents that throw things at their kids so that they don’t want anything. I think this causes kids to not be totally appreciative of those material items. Is this wrong? I don’t know. I pray I don’t raise my children in this way.

To put this in perspective I was at a Junior League Kids in the Kitchen event Thursday night. We did a class with the kids involved in a CCFI (Center for Children and Families, Inc.) after school program about good nutrition and exercise. There was one little girl that didn’t have shoes on. There is the possibility that she just forgot them. There is also the possibility that she didn’t have any.

This is the sad world that we live in. I think we get so wrapped up in our own little bubbles of life that we forget about what is going on in the rest of the world. In Cleveland in the last week or so four children died. These are headlines that you read in the newspaper or see on the news. We need to remember that there are many in our world that are much less fortunate than us.

Because of where I have worked for the last six years I have gotten to interact with some of the more less fortunate of our community. I came into this job as a 23 year old that knew everything and was better than all of my clients. It took a couple of years before the clients changed my life. Yes, the clients changed me. I pray that in some circumstances that I changed their lives as well, but I am very grateful for the impact that their stories have had on my life.

One of these days I’ll talk about what I want to do with my life and why, but that’s not a story for today. Instead I hope you all take this from this blog entry:

You are very lucky. If you are reading this you have access to a computer, more than likely at your home, or even better: Internet on your phone. You have electricity. You have a roof over your head. More than likely you didn’t really have to think about how you were going to eat tonight. There are people around you that had to worry about some or all of these things. The next time you are DYING for that new pair of $100+ boots why don’t you think about buying something a little cheaper and using the rest of the money to help someone else. Go out into your community and volunteer at a soup kitchen, or with the homeless, or with underprivileged children. It may be a few hours of your time, but the feeling that you have when you’re done is more than worth your time!

Thirty in Thirty: Four

Finally caught up!

Greet Rufus, whom the Lord picked out to be his very own; and also his dear mother, who has been a mother to me. Romans 16:13

This verse was part of the Mother's Day sermon at CrossTimbers. The general idea of the sermon was that just because someone is not you ACTUAL mother doesn't mean that they can't be a mother to you.

I wasn't sure how Mother's Day was going to feel to me this year. Had you asked me the year before I would have said that come Mother's Day 2009 I would be married and proudly have a newborn to show off. God did not see the plan quite like I did. I so hate when He thinks He knows better than I do! (A smidge of sarcasm; I am quite glad that what I think should work out doesn't always!) May 2009 came off of some pretty hard times in my life (Check out Day Ten for more on that) and not being a mom was on the top of the list. How was I going to feel? How would others around me make me feel? Would I be sad? Would I still be thrilled with where my life was going? I didn't know.

Then I heard the sermon. It could not have been more perfect. I have the tendency to be very nurturing and I pride myself with "my kids." I have a bunch of them. I have not given birth to a child yet, but I have about 20 that if they ever decided to run away from home I would take in a heartbeat.

After the sermon portraits were taken and the request was: take a portrait with your mother, take a portrait for your mother, take a portrait with someone that is like your mother...


One of "my" kids came up to me and said "Wendy, will you take a picture with me because you're like my second mom?" After I composed myself and kept myself from crying I said, of course. I was so touched by that!

And what an awesome "son" I have! He is a mess and I wouldn't trade him for the world. I would like to give credit to his mother for raising such an amazing young man. He is12 and in the seventh grade. He is quite the cute kiddo: blond hair, blue eyes, tall and athletic. He is blond though, God love him, he is a bit ditsy! And slightly accident prone: three trips to the ER in a month during football season. Though he only got to play two games I have to mention his athletic talent. This summer he went to the Josh Heupel football came and got chosen by a scout to be sponsored for camp next year and they are going to follow his career! (Did I mention he's 12???)

He is one of the most kind, caring, compassionate kids I have ever met. He is the kid that is going to go talk to that kid that no one else will talk to, the one without any other friends, that may not be as smart, or as pretty, or as athletic, or as popular. He will always be there to help out his friends. He loves his mom more than anything and isn't afraid to show it (we'll see how that goes in about four years!). He is just overall a great kid. I am blessed to be a part of his life and am blessed that he is a part of mine.

No matter what I was afraid I might be feeling on Mother's Day I didn't have to worry about it because of him. He was placed in my life at just the right time and will be there for many, many more years!

Thirty in Thirty: Three

A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go.

Let's try an ex boyfriend on for size! Though there were some hard feelings when this relationship came to an end, I am not going to dwell on the negative, just simply mention it.

I met this guy around 2002. He was about to marry his high school sweetheart (aw!) and we became friends through church and a musical (I was friends with his fiance' as well). They married and inevitably divorced. After they split we talked a lot, just as friends, because when you're going through a break up you need a friend. From there a spark was lit.

We saw each other one night at a play and then he asked me to dinner and a movie, I wasn't sure if it was a date, so I asked what kind of shoes I should wear: heels or flip flops. He said, well wear whatever makes you comfortable, but it is a date! I was pretty excited.

On paper we were PERFECT! We had the same group of friends, were interested in the same activities, went to the same church. The only negative I could see was that he lived in our hometown and wasn't very willing to leave, which would mean if we ended up together I would have to move home. I came to be okay with this idea as the weeks and months progressed.

When we started dating he had not thoroughly healed from his divorce (mistake number one, on both of our parts). We were together and then not so much and then kind of and then not so much and then kind of and then not so much and then well yeah. I remember us having a big fight (but we were NOT together!) and I had a bit too much to drink which led me to meet the next guy, though I was totally not over this relationship. That was Friday. On Sunday I went home for church and we got into a HUGE fight that night. This is my fun story of getting dumped when you didn't know you were dating someone! Oh the stories of my life! :)

I started dating someone soon after that and the mistake that I made following the relationship with this guy was that I did not forgive him when I started dating the next guy. I was hurt, a lot. We had been close friends and all the things that happened in our pseudo relationship, to me, didn't feel like something that someone would do to their friend. I realize now that he was not in a place to be in a relationship and I wanted to be in a "perfect" relationship too much. I could see all the positives, but did not take into account the fact that we just didn't fit!

That happened in 2005. October 28, 2009 (following the cancelled wedding) I realized that I had never forgiven this guy. I realized the problems this caused in my next relationship. I was so angry after that relationship ended that I was so determined to make the next relationship work and to make it "perfect." He kept telling me that things would not work with this new guy; I did not want him to be right and I did not want to fail. I did everything, too much, to hold onto a relationship so I could be right. (This is not to say that I did not love the next guy with all my heart, I whole heartedly did, but the hurt from the previous relationship certainly played a part in the length of the next relationship.)

I am happy to say that October 29, 2009 I totally, whole heartedly, 100% forgave this guy for every hurt that I felt. Forgiveness is a very freeing thing, I highly recommend it. Some may say that this guy, or the next, or others in my life do not deserve forgiveness. What I learned that day is that forgiveness is not necessarily about the person that has wronged us, but rather, about our hearts not holding onto hurts when the time comes to release them. Whether anything that I felt was justified in his eyes I don't know; I probably never will know. Has he forgiven me for any wrong that I did in the relationship? I don't know that either, I pray he has. I know that I did not handle everything during our relationship (however you choose to define it) in the best manner possible.

So long as we learn and grow from our experiences then I feel that every tear shed is worthwhile. I hope he learned something out of our time together, I know I did.

And I know I will always be grateful to him for that.

Thirty in Thirty: Two

I had a big research paper due yesterday which took all my writing ability! I'll try to catch up three days today!


Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. ~ Mary Catherwood

Perfect quote to describe this friend. In fact my senior year of college at the Wesley Foundation retreat she came up to me (we'd known each other about a month) and said "Just so you know we have the same personality." My initial thought was: "Dear God, there's two of me!" This thought both terrified and excited me.
 
It was pretty much from that moment that we were the best of friends. There is something about having a friend that completely and totally understands how you think. She and I can go for days, weeks, months and it seems like we just talked.
 
One of the funny parts of our friendship is the path that both of our lives have taken. We were both political science majors in college and both planned to go to law school. I think we both would have been great at it too, but alas it did not happen and thank goodness! She had a stint in youth ministry and though I'm pretty sure that I said I never would I know find myself as a leader of the youth group at my church now. I worked with underprivileged people which has turned into the passion that is driving what I want to do with my life. She is currently working with underprivileged and at risk teenagers.
 
Our lives seem to mirror one another, though sometimes (most times really) I think she figures it out before I do!
 
I am super excited that she is coming to spend the weekend after her birthday with me next week!

Election Day 2010: Exercising My Right to Complain

I vote. I voted today. I believe in voting. I have a political science degree, of course I vote!

While I am excited that so many of the "facebook" generation expressed their plan to vote I got a wee bit annoyed by all the posts about voting! It is great that so many went out an voted, but where was all of this during the primaries? What about the Norman mayoral elections in March? Where was everyone and their pro-vote stance then? I hope that everyone keeps the pro-vote attitude from now on.

This year I celebrated my twentieth year "in the political arena," so to speak. When I was nine I hit the campaign trail for my local state representative. I did this every two years as long as he ran. My freshman and sophomore year of high school I served as a page at the State House of Representatives. When I was 16 I campaigned for the District Attorney (who I also babysat for) and for a local Senator (who was one of my high school teacher and whose wife was one of my elementary school teachers). I have always been politically aware. This election also celebrated my tenth anniversary of "big" elections. My first presidential election to vote in was 2000 and what a doozy that one was!

A note about elections and campaigning: I HATE DIRTY CAMPAIGNING! From the gubernatorial campaign in Oklahoma that made national news to my local state representative race where I got more negative campaign material about the opponent than I did of positive information. I learned when I was little that if you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all...I think there are some political candidates that need to re-learn this idea. When I hear someone campaigning negatively about their opponent it just makes me wonder what exactly they are hiding.

If you don't like how the country is going then go vote. Educate yourself on the candidates and the state questions. When you walk into that voting booth know what you believe and who will be most in line with this. We are very lucky to live in a country where we can have a part in the decision making process for our leadership.

If you don't vote then don't think you have any right to complain about the decisions that are made in our country.

Thirty in Thirty: One

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. ~Aristotle

My first victim, er, friend and I have been friends for 18 years. We had six of eight classes together in sixth grade, but that's not where we bonded. Our bond came at the YWCA Charm School that fall. I guess we realized that we had classes together and that Charm School was kind of silly (though quite entertaining and fun at the end when we got to be in a fashion show!).

To say we've been through a lot together is a drastic understatement. There have been times in our friendship that we have not been the best of friends. I think she and I had some competitiveness when we were in high school. Many times it was over other friends and who was closer to this person or that person. She introduced me to one of the biggest thorns in my side (who has stayed that way for about fifteen years, though I wouldn't trade it for anything!). We went through destructive habits together: bad relationships, stupid fad diets, really bad clothing!

We went on vacations together, I spent more time at her house than mine most summers, we got into trouble together (Mrs. Patman's Latin class and the band room and that one time we went to the lake with boys without telling my parents!). I think in many ways our friendship is more like sisters than it is of friends (neither of us having a sister). When we would spend too much time together we would have to be away from each other and wind down and then would go right back to normal. There are many things that she introduced me to and many things I introduced her to; some good, some bad!

Freshman year we went to different schools. By different I mean huge rivals. Her family would always jest at my allegiance to OU (they still do actually!) which is just a normal part of our banter. Growing up her family was an extension of my own family. During the second semester of our freshman year we were working a Chrysalis weekend and I met a boy (don't most hugely dramatic tales begin with "there was this guy..."). He was a nice boy, I thought. She'd known him for some time. We dated for a week! (Huge monumental relationship, huh? :) It actually really was...I'm quite certain he will come up in later chapters!) Then we broke up the next weekend. I was devastated (I look back now and I'm not quite sure why). At any rate something happened and being the overly emotional person that I am my feelings got hurt. Clearly it wasn't that big of a deal as I cannot recall the exact events, though I know it had to do with that boy. We did not talk for a few months.

Somewhere after that we made amends, probably without actually saying anything, that's just how things go. Sophomore year she joined a sorority and I discovered football. I had my friends, she had her friends and we didn't talk as much as before; nothing was wrong, we were both just busy. The summer after junior year we were in a play together in Ardmore (well she was IN the play and I worked the play backstage) and I guess we connected. The third of our threesome of best friends got married that summer and there was a reconnection for all of us. When we got back to school it was much the same as it had been: both busy with separate lives.

She graduated the December after we were "supposed" to graduate (I took the five year plan and graduated the following May, but with two degrees!). Nothing was really said about the other's graduation, it just was what it was. Somewhere after I graduated we started talking regularly again. It might have been because of the guy I was dating (ugh...why is it always a boy???) or who knows why. I remember when the afore mentioned boy and I broke up (for probably the third time) I went and visited her and spent Valentine's Day with her and her brother, just as an escape from life at home. Things were great and wonderful!

The following summer I had the final breakup with that guy and started dating the next. I remember he and I going to visit her at her parents' house just after we started dating. We were already talking about marriage and I remember she and I talking about being in each other's weddings. That afternoon I remember her talking about this guy that one of her friends wanted to set her up with, but she just wasn't all that sure about him.

Well they started dating a short time later. This is the part of my tale where we "broke up and got back together", so there was a bit of tarnish on my seemingly perfect relationship. I had built things up that this relationship was perfect that I was in no way, shape or form going to admit that we may have hit a rocky patch. That summer my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. We went through all the preop stuff and the surgery. I remember when I was at the hospital after surgery I got a text message announcing that they were engaged. Really??? Engaged??? They'd known each other a millisecond! I'd been in a relationship longer! This was not fair! To say I was jealous might be an understatement. To top in off while she is in wedding planning mode we went through "broke up and got back together" again! I could not bear to admit defeat and couldn't bear to tell her that we'd broken up, especially since I KNEW we would get back together (and we did).

I remember laying in my bed at my old apartment when she called and told me I'd be serving cake at her wedding. I was floored. Serving cake? That's the job you give to that person that you have to give a job to and you don't really like them. We're best friends! How could she? I was upset. (We have since talked and laughed about this, by the way!)

A sidebar to this story: I will now reveal my love languages, if you know anything about the five love languages. Mine top two are Quality Time and Words of Affirmation. I can think back on countless times that my feelings got hurt because I was not given the quality time that I desired (like being a bridesmaid!).

The reality of the situation was that she asked her cousins (clearly), his sister (clearly) and two of her sorority sisters, who in reality were her best friends at the time. During this time in my life I kind of felt like everyone was out to get me (I am in a MUCH healthier place now!) and this was just a manifestation of that. I did go to her wedding and was jealous of the relationship she had with her new sister in law, her sorority sisters and her cousins. To say that I wasn't hurt would be a lie.

The months rocked along and we didn't talk all that much. She was a newlywed and I was trying to sort out my relationship. About a year after they got married she got pregnant. I found out on MySpace (granted, she posted it and then called or text messaged me right after, so that was just crappy timing). I was hurt and angry about that too. It wasn't so much that she didn't tell me, but it was hard watching her other friends know and me not know. It was hard not being that person that she told things too. It made me sad.

That summer I missed her baby shower because I had surgery a few days before. I am sad that I did. Maybe I should have ridden with our other best friend, maybe I could have taken another pain pill and made it through the day, would it have made any difference? Coulda, woulda, shoulda...what can you do about those now?

The morning after the baby was born (an adorable boy!) she called me (he was born at like 2:00 am, she called at 11:00 am, no one is going to be upset about that time lapse!). I remember where I was when I got the call. We talked for a few minutes and then hung up. Her mom asked who she had been talking to, when she told her, her mom said "I think that's the shortest amount of time you two have ever been on the phone!"

Everything changed that Easter (doesn't it always come back to Easter with me? See World Communion Sunday for more on my history with Easter!). She sent out a mass email from her dad about their annual Easter Egg Hunt. The Easter Egg Hunt was a huge thing for us in high school. This is a serious hunt! In the good ol' days (before the economy bottomed out!) there would be hundred dollar eggs and they would be hidden all over their land. There was tons of food and family and friends. At this particular hunt her son was to be the guest of honor! Well I wanted to go! I convinced the boyfriend that we had spent the last two Easters with his family and we headed to Ardmore for it. We had a blast (well she and I did, don't know about the guys!) I guess this is where our friendship got back on track.

My mom and I went to her son's first birthday party; something I cannot even think about missing! When I got engaged I did not ask her to be a bridesmaid. I would be lying if I didn't say it was partially out of spite. I pray that even subconsciously this was not my primary reason. I did want to prove a point, with the whole stupid wedding, though, that I had moved on from our hometown, thus I asked no one from home (sans the little sister type person). She and our other best friend would be "honored guests" instead, along with two of my best friends from college.

Once again, Easter happened. On Maundy Thursday, to be specific, there was an "issue" (we'll just leave it at that) with the fiance's family and myself and though we were supposed to spend Easter with them I could not bring myself to go. I called her bawling and asked if they were having the Easter Egg Hunt and if I could come. Pretty sure she rolled her eyes when I asked this and said of course.

I knew I was invited. Her parents' house is like my house and the door is always open. I just had this need to be "wanted"; I needed to know that they wanted me to be there and cared that I would be there and I needed to hear that (back to those five love languages). Her mom even said that she thought I was ridiculous for asking if I could come. I explained this idea to her and she said, well we'd rather you be here anyway! It was a great day.

A few short weeks after that they wedding got called off and our friendship became even stronger and is where it is now. There is no competition of any kind anymore. I don't know when that fell away. It is part of growing up.

The single best testament to what an amazing friend she is happened when she told me about her second pregnancy. It is no secret that I have had some issues with people in my life being pregnant and some problems with life not being fair and being jealous. She and I talked about this, many, many, times as she was trying to get pregnant and had a little trouble. She told me that she was pregnant via text message. Now this may sound similar to when she was pregnant with her first, but alas, it was very different. This time she sent it and said, "So I thought I would message you so that you don't have to pretend to be happy because I know it will deep down make you sad but #2 is finally on the way". I am fairly certain I cried when I read this. I was nothing but elated for her. I mean I am so very excited about this baby! I called her and told her all of this. The caring that it took to hold back her excitement to consider my feelings is what I see as a true best friend. I am busy planning her baby shower with such excitement it is ridiculous!

I cannot imagine my life without her. In two years we will celebrate our 20 year "friend-iversary" and we are supposed to go on a trip. We are both embarking upon different stages in our lives, but even with 180 degree differences we are closer now than we have ever been. I would not trade one fight, squabble, jealous moment, competitiveness between each other for anything. She has made me who I am and I have made her who she is. We have come out stronger through it all. There is pretty much nothing that the two of us cannot accomplish or figure out if we put our heads together (which can be a little scary!) It is now strange for us not to talk every day (in fact we're talking on facebook chat right now!). I think we have both grown up a lot in the last ten years (me especially!) and there is no worry about what others will say, think or do and we just call each other out on our bullshit and move on. We don't say what the other one wants to hear, rather we say what we need to hear in a kind and loving way. She is usually the first person that I call when I have a problem and she is the first person I call when I have a new crush (which she can usually figure out with the first guess, tricky little devil!).

My predicition for the future: we will be the ones that when we are 99 years old will be sitting in a nursing home gossiping about the little old men chasing after the little old ladies. Who knows what technology will be in place for us to figure things out then! :)

Thirty in Thirty

Okay new inspiration to blog! For the month of November I am going to write about my friends. Well not everyone may be a friend, some may be inspirational people in my life, who I might not consider to be a friend, but who have shaped who I am. All of these people have played a crucial part in my life. I'm pretty sure that I can come up with way more than thirty, but we're going to start there. I don't really have a plan for this; meaning I don't have a list. I'm just going to start today and go. I will not focus on the negative of anyone in this, only the way that they positively influenced me. There may be a little negative there, but there will always be a positive outcome! No slamming of people here!

The kicker is that I'm not using names! :) Much like Day One of Ten Days I'm just going to write about them and let you, the reader, see if you can figure out who they are. I will not confirm or deny publicly though, so don't bother commenting on them. I will try to post every day, but it may not happen (stupid school! :)), but I promise there will be thirty posts. :)