What an End to This Week...

Okay so this has been just a HORRIBLE week on oh so many levels and I thought it was quite amusing that it was ending on Friday the 13th. What I did not anticipate was the tornado around 4:00 this afternoon, so here is that part of the wretched week's story.

I got a call that there was baseball sized hail around Riverwind (opposite side of Norman from my house), so I asked my friend Brianne to follow me home so I could put my car in the garage (the garage which was "cleaned out" at lunch so I could cram the car in when I got home from work). By the time we get to my house, which is three minutes from the office, it had started to rain. We crammed the car into the garage (literally) and I got the big dog in the house and in the hallway and we headed back. By this point it had started to really rain.

Darling Brianne turned the wrong way and the sirens started going off. We were trying to call the office to tell them we were on our way back and couldn't get anything to go through. We were listening to the radio on the way back and if you listened carefully one 1/8 mile wide tornado started on Highway 9, bounced to the mall, then back to the weather center, then to OU's campus, up to Norman North, back to Norman High, and over to Norman Regional (across the street from our office). Needless to say they were being over dramatic.

We make it back to the office, get DRENCHED while running inside and everyone is downstairs in the hallway. We hang out there for awhile, everyone attempting to get cell service (ha.ha.ha.) Someone had a radio on and it was more melodrama and them making it out that all of Norman was leveled. I'm not discounting that there were storms nor that they were bad, but the guys on the radio were saying so many things that were so conflicting it was impossible to tell what was really happening.

Eventually the storms passed, we went upstairs to get our stuff and Brianne took me home, where all was safe and sound. That's when the texts and voicemails started coming in. I had people all over the place checking on me and I felt so bad because I couldn't get anything to go through. Occasionally I would get the voicemail to work so that I would know who was checking, but overall cell phone service was awful. Wait did I say it was awful? Because an hour later it still isn't working.

When I got home to electricity and internet I updated my facebook to check in with people since nothing would go through on the phone. Eventually I was able to check voicemails and the best one came from darling Megan England:

Hey call me or text me or update your facebook status so I know you're okay.

You never have to wonder if we think alike! So once again, in severe weather facebook saves the day. So if you are reading this and I have not updated you on my status that is why and all is well and those of you that did check on my you have no idea how much it meant...love you all!

Cheetoed

Let me just say that I had the best of intentions and I take full responsibility for the ramifications of my actions.

That being said here is the story of a spray tan gone horribly wrong.

It all started this past weekend when I realized I was really, really pale. I leave for a cruise on the 18th and considering my plan is to lay on the deck in the sun with a book my pale skin was not going to do very well. If I can get a base tan then I tan really, really well, but it takes a bit of work. I decided that I would take matters into my own hands and go to the tanning salon for the two weeks prior to the trip.

I went, paid my money, bought my lotion and day one went for 8 minutes. It was fine, no burn at all, so day 2 I bumped it to 10 minutes. That was a mistake. I got a bit, well, crispy. Tan and Tone was running a special yesterday that all their tans were $1 and the magic tan was $10. After talking to the girls that work there I decided I would try a magic tan, because I couldn't get in a tanning bed due to the burn and Junior League Charity Ball is tomorrow night. I thought that was just the PERFECT solution.

Now I have never done this before, generally I am a Jergens Natural Glow kind of a girl. And I also have a tanning spray gun, so I've done that myself and had sweet Mary airbrush me too. Both of those were fine and I figured this wouldn't be that much different.

BAHAHAHAHA!

Okay so I watch the video, learn the poses, am explained it all again by an employee. Forty five seconds later I am tan. But I don't see much. The girl that explained it all said that wiping it off was the most important part. I suppose I may be too analytical because I really needed to understand how this all actually worked, because in my extremely logical mind the jets sprayed the tanning stuff on for about 8 seconds per side and then I jumped out and wiped it off, how on earth was this going to leave me tan?

Well, kids, let me tell you what, learn from me, it does. So I did the wiping, still worried that I would have no color in the morning. I went home and avoided water for the correct amount of time. I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror...O.M.G. I scrubbed as much as I could before work. When I got to work I went straight to my cave and stayed there. I IM'ed my friend Brianne and asked her to come look to see if I looked like Cheet-o. She thought I was wearing orange, not that I let the spray tan gods work their magic on me.

Here's what I learned:

• use the barrier cream and use a lot of it
• when you wipe off the tanning solution keep it far, far, far, far away from the places with the barrier cream
• cuticles and palms, even if you put barrier cream on still end up looking orange
• you can remove some of the Cheet-o-ness with rubbing alcohol

Brianne's exact words were "well it's not good." I guess I know that if I want an honest opinion I have a friend for it! :) She left and I rubbed on my skin with rubbing alcohol. Apparently the really bad place was around and on my nose. When she came back over to check on me (because I wouldn't leave my desk without approval that I wouldn't frighten people) she said "oh it looks so much better! I didn't realize how bad it really was until I see it looking better now!" I really, really, really love her!

So that is my tale of the spray tan. I'm not going to say I'll never do it again, though the idea of someone airbrushing me is sounding like a MUCH better plan, but I will take some valuable lessons from this experience. Tomorrow may be Charity Ball, but I'm not taking a date, just hanging out with wonderful girlfriends who will get a huge laugh out of this little adventure and really, if you can't laugh at your own flubs then what fun is life?

My feet after an INSANE amount of exfoliating tonight...

Mastered

That letter means that those crazy people at OU are going to give me a Masters degree! This also is the reason that I've been completely absent on the good ol' blog. I finished my comprehensive exam which was a twelve page paper that incorporated facebook, church, young adults lacking permanent, consistent emotional support, existentialism, and my future plans. Sound random enough? Well apparently I put them together in a coherent manner worthy of graduate level work and they are going to let me graduate in May.

Last week I also found out that I was invited into Phi Kappa Phi, an honor society for the top ten percent of graduating graduate students and Golden Key Honour Society, which is an honor society for cool people (okay really I haven't the slightest clue and I got the invite last fall and ignored it, but then decided that I wanted more flair for my cap and gown).

After all of that excitement I got my final grade for grad school last night: A. That means that when I finish my Masters I will graduate with a final GPA of 4.0.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't completely and totally excited about all of this. When I was in high school I graduated with honors and had a GPA over 4.0 (thanks weighted grades), then I got to college. I was really good at undergrad, at least the social aspect; the school aspect I really didn't care about and my GPA reflected it.

Grad school was not in the plan. Three years ago I was planning a disaster of a wedding. I wanted to be a wife and mom, and while I see nothing wrong with either of those things that wasn't the direction my life path ended up going and I'm okay with that. Wife and mom are still on my to do list, but I really love where my life is at. That being said I did get sad today when I was ordering my announcements and saw undergrad couples that were purchasing all their stuff together and knowing that when graduation rolls around they will take pictures together and have those memories, together. I'm sad that I won't have those graduation pictures with whoever "the one" is. In the end it will all work out and I know that. I also know that had I been dating someone during the craziness that was me in grad school it would have never worked. I rather enjoyed being able to pull all nighters and then retreat to the pool or the comfort of my bedroom to watch Sex and the City or Dawson's Creek. Had I been in a relationship I would have, knowing me, sacrificed some part of this experience and I wouldn't feel about it the way that I do, and I'm really, really proud of myself.

All in all the last twenty six months have been busy, crazy, fun, and completely and totally worthwhile. In sixty four short days I will walk across a stage in a sparkly decorated cap (more on that later) at Lloyd Noble Center, hopefully with some crazy kids screaming and yelling and blowing air horns, and they will give me a Masters. Now that I have the school bug I don't think it's going away any time soon. I've already decided that I'm going to get my counseling license and a Ph.D. is completely not out of the realm of reality (I really want the poufy hat!).

Who knows where I will be in another three years because where I sit now is not at all what I could have ever imagined one thousand ninety six days ago (yes I counted Leap Year day :)), but I wouldn't change it for anything.

Saving Myself for Donnie Wahlberg…

Well maybe not really (or maybe so, who knows!) Here we are again that wonderful day of the year we all love so very much: Valentine’s Day. Last year I was pretty upset by this little twenty-four hour period, but this year I’m just really not. I really just don’t care, it’s just another day.

So why then am I writing a blog for the first time in a month and a half over the subject?

Contentment.

This is my word of 2012. I’ve had real issue with this word in the past because I thought that if I said I was content with my life that meant that I was happy staying where I was, which I’m not. I want to get married and have kids and that’s not where I’m at, so I didn’t want to tempt the fates into thinking that they could just leave me here and I’d be happy about it, because I wouldn’t be. Then a friend encouraged me to watch the movie Courageous. I won’t go into my analysis and critique of the movie because it isn’t relevant here. What happened was that the movie didn’t come out on DVD for some time after I was told to watch it, however I noticed a book at Barnes and Noble inspired by the movie: The Resolution for Women (there’s a men’s version too). I started this book at the beginning of the year and I’ll admit I have not been diligent about reading it every day, but I’ll get through it eventually.

The main point of the beginning and what struck me so much was this idea of contentment. The book laid it out in a manner that I not only understood, but completely and totally agreed with. It suggested the idea that we all have different seasons throughout our lives: seasons to be single, to be married, to be a parent, to be a student, to build our career, to be a kid and so on. The idea of contentment isn’t the idea that you have to be satisfied forever with what you have now; rather it is the idea that you are content, happy and enjoy what you have in the season that you are in. It was like a light bulb went off there in my bedroom.

Contentment doesn’t mean that I am giving up and saying, well I guess this is how it’s going to be and I have to live with it. Rather it gives me the opportunity to live my life to the fullest and enjoy this time I have. Now I’ve known all of this for years and for a long time I’ve told myself I need to learn to live in the moment, but they were just words and the voice in the back of my mind was telling me that I was biding my time until my “real” life started: the get married and have kids life. I don’t really know what the major difference this time was, but I really and truly got it this time around. I realize all the great things that I get to do because I am single.

I took an amazing trip to New York and DC in November and got to enjoy just spending time alone, which was amazing. That trip was all about having new experiences and finding myself along the way. I had never flown by myself before and that felt like this huge thing, that wasn’t really all that big of a deal. At the same time I made all the arrangements myself (besides a bus ticket to DC) and got myself where I needed to be all by myself. I’ve always been a very independent person, however I tend to stay in my own comfortable bubble and that trip pushed me outside my bubble and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I’m finishing my Masters. During the month of February not only have I completed my last class, but I also have to write my comprehensive exam (which I still don’t think is THAT big of a deal, but everyone else is flipping out about). To be honest I’m glad I’m single because I just really don’t have time, right now, to factor someone else in. I am doing everything I can to just have some “me” time in between class and paper writing.

On top of this we are starting some new things at CrossTimbers that I’m ridiculously excited about, but that are also kind of time consuming in the beginning planning process. (And, no, I’m still not 100% certain how this all ended up happening at once.) This has become an amazing opportunity that allows me and a group of people to truly make a difference in other people’s lives as well as our own and I’m so excited about the direction it is going.

February also includes seeing a dear friend in one of my favorite musicals, the birthday of a beautiful little girl, whom I adore, that must be showered with birthday excitement, a women’s retreat at my home church that I am beyond excited about, and to top it off a trip to Dallas with one of my most favorite people for the Jordan Knight solo show (because if you couldn’t tell at the beginning of this I am having some NKOTB withdrawals lately).

So all in all February is a really busy month for me. If I had been put in a relationship at this point the person I was with would probably be feeling abandoned or I would be focused on them and not all the other things I need to do. That’s kind of how my life has been these days. It’s not that I don’t want to be with someone; it’s that simply this is not the season for that.

I don’t know how long this season of my life is going to last. Maybe it will be that mystery date in July or maybe it will be sooner than that, but if it happens to be longer than that, then that’s okay too.

For the last few months I have been toying around with the idea of finishing my LPC (license professional counseling) classes. The class I just finished up sealed the deal on that. Basically I’m signing myself up for another year and a half or so of school, but I’m okay with that. I truly feel like it is the place that I’m supposed to be in this season of my life. I’m not really sure what this means in the long run of my life, but I feel certain that I’m going in the right direction and certain things that I thought would be happening right now are on hold for a reason, though I don’t know that reason yet. I figure at some point it will all make sense, why I have shifted my passion around, or put a major passion on hold for a little while.

For the time being, I am enjoying the fact that if I want to lock myself in my room and watch Dawson’s Creek for hours I can. If I want to hop on a plane to NYC I can. I am going to enjoy that I can do whatever I want at this point in my life. I fully believe that in the right time I will get all the things that my heart desires, but I fully believe that this is not the right time. I would rather enjoy my life now, single, than push for a relationship that isn’t right and end up more miserable in the end.

For the first time in a long time I am really, truly happy (albeit very busy and slightly stressed, but happy) and content with where I am. I would rather have a million Valentine’s Days alone than be in an unhealthy relationship again. All the things I have learned will go with me into my next relationship, which I will allow to happen naturally and not push for or try to force. That’s just not the way this crazy life works. And if you have a problem with me being thirty and single and my life not matching how yours looks, then that's your problem, not mine, and it probably means there is something lacking in your own life. I encourage you to take a look and try to find the missing piece. It took me a long time to put all the pieces back together to become whole and I’m glad I took that time because I would not trade it for anything.

So happy Valentine’s Day to all (and especially to Donnie Wahlberg…I’ll be here patiently waiting… ;))

Resolved

Prior to last year I was never big on the whole New Year's resolution thing. BUT in 2011 I set one. Granted it was something that I shouldn't have had to resolved to do in the first place, but after the way 2010 went it was something I needed to work on. Now for you that know what this was you probably think this is pretty funny, but if you don't know, well let's just say I managed to make it the full year without breaking the resolution (although there was one time that I almost slipped, but it worked out that I didn't).

So with this successful attitude I am setting a few more this year. I will share them with you.

I have several friends that have done or are doing this 1000 mile running challenge. I hate running, I really want to love it, but I really don't, but I do love to walk long distances, therefore I am setting the same challenge. I am already 6 in. I figure if I do three miles a day, which is my norm then I will not only successfully complete this challenge, but actually have 32 days throughout the year free.

Next big thing: fix my house. There are a lot of things that need to be done around here and it needs to be where people can come over. I have kind of let it go so that people couldn't come over and I think that was because in 2011 I really liked being a hermit. Now that it is 2012 I need to get out of the hermit mentality and become a people person again. Of course I need to keep plenty of "me" time, but I want to be in a place that if someone stops by unexpectedly I would let them in and have food and drinks to share with them! Or feel comfortable inviting someone to come visit for a weekend.

The biggest thing, however, is that I want to strengthen my relationship with God. I have an amazing faith, if I didn't there would be no way I would be where I am now, but I want a deeper, more personal relationship. I have started several different things that are completely "doable" for me and that on day two of the new year are already speaking volumes to me. It should be a pretty exciting journey and I'm really ready for the challenge.

In relation to that I am taking on a more active prayer life. I am resolving to pray for certain people in my life every day, no matter how frustrated or angry I may be with them on a given day. There is at least one person that this is completely for. It will be interesting to see what happens after a year of deliberate prayer for them. It might be interesting! I will probably pick up others along the way, but there is one in particular right now that I think needs it.

I am also going to focus on worrying less and living more. Yesterday at church the sermon involved two videos. Both were great, but there was a line in the second that spoke volumes to me:

May God grant me the ability to seize the day; to seize every second and unravel His purpose, His potential for me.

This is my prayer for 2012. I tend to rush life and not enjoy the moments I'm living in. Ironically the study I started for quiet time focused on contentment for the first chapter (pretty sure I picked the exact right book for me). I need to live in the moment more and realize that the future is yet to be, but when it is it will be amazing. I think reflecting back on my past has shown me that as well. I've been thinking about high school a lot for various reasons and as much as I loved it I was always ready to be done. In retrospect I wish I had taken more pictures and done more things and kept in contact with people better. Since I can see that now I pray that I can take that and do it now so that in another fifteen years I'm not thinking that about this season of my life. Life is too short as it is to go wasting it waiting on the next big thing.
I don't see that any of these "resolutions" or goals or whatever you want to call them are not attainable. Some will take more work and focus than others, but if I can manage to follow them I cannot even begin to imagine how amazing life will be.

Good Riddance

Well here we are in 2012, which according to the Mayans will be the last one. No I don't fall into that crazy thinking, but who knows really? :) Anywho this is the time of the year when we have a whole brand new year ahead of us and we reflect upon the previous year. I am just as guilty as the rest of you about doing this, I just choose to put it down on a blog for all of you to read!

So what was 2011 to me? Well part of it was really, really, really crappy (the month of October to be exact) and part of it was really, really good (November and December). Part of it was kind of self inflicted loneliness/recuperation (summer) and part of it was a lot of stress (first semester).

This last year saw me making big decisions with my life and temporarily ending some friendships that were unhealthy for me to be around (thankfully I recovered and we're as close as ever). I spent the academic year of 2010-2011 with so much going on that by the time May rolled around I couldn't be around anyone, so I wasn't. I spent the summer lounging in my pool all by myself. I only had people over to swim three times all summer. It was wonderful. I am, by nature, an introvert and those nine months completely and totally wore me out physically, emotionally and spiritually. I needed some "me" time. I think a lot of my friends didn't really understand what was going on with me, and frankly until the last week or so I didn't either, but I knew that it was what I needed.

As 2011 left us I realized that I have 33 out of 36 hours of grad school completed, two years ago I didn't even know I would. In 2011 I was asked to be a committee chair for Junior League (in my first active year) and was chosen to be the Community Vice President on the Board of Directors for 2012-2013. I spent a lot of time at CrossTimbers, mainly doing stuff with a crazy, yet amazing youth group. I have reconnected with old friends and spend a lot of time with them now, which is amazing.

Several tragedies struck this year, including losing two people that I never met that greatly impacted me and losing two that I knew very well.

I conquered some things that I don't know if I could have done before. The main one was taking a week long vacation by myself, which was amazing. I made all the plans and flew all by myself. I navigated NYC by myself for the most part and in the dark (which terrified me before). I managed to make my way to DC from NYC (though I did some planning help on that one). It was a trip that was all about experiences and I had plenty of them. I had to step out of my shell a lot and usually I'm pretty cozy in there, so I'm glad that I did it. A lot of things got marked off my bucket list and made me grow as a person. I am so thankful to the people that helped with that.

I came to the realization this year that while I have an amazing life I need to work on having a bit less structure. I function well with structure, so it is hard to let go of that. I spent an amazing evening in my hometown, of all places, last spring that had no agenda and it was amazing. NYC and DC followed that pattern as well as being shipwrecked at home for a few days last week. I think I have realized over the last year just how important my high school friends are to me. It's not that I don't value my college or adult friends, but there is something true and pure about the people that knew you at that age. We spent so much time together and knew each other so intimately. I find it so reassuring that I can be with them and it is as if nothing has changed and we are 16 again.

This last year I realized that as much as I say I hate it I'm really glad that I grew up where I did and when I did. I have valuable friendships that have lasted through everything you can imagine being thrown at them and contacts that will help with my future.

And about the future. I turned 30 this year and convinced myself that what I needed out of life was to pick up and move to New York. While that would be wonderful and something I would like to do temporarily still I realized that it won't solve anything. Last year (2010) I read Eat, Pray, Love. I know a lot of people that read it and didn't really like it. I will be the first to admit it was a hard read, however I totally understand it. I think I have gotten to the point of understanding pleasure and understanding spirituality and responsibility, but I'm still working on balancing the two. I tend to be go, go, go and feel like my life has to be booked solid, all the time, but what I then realize, when I get a few moments free, is that I really, really hate that. I still haven't figured out where the balance between structure and free spirit comes, but I know it is something that I need to work on and strive for. I know I cannot just not have a job and travel the world all the time, that's not how life works, however it seems that it is when I am most happy. The question becomes how do I do both? I'll be honest, I don't know, but I'm working on it.

For many, many years I have had a feeling about 2012. I truly think this is going to be the most amazing year and I think the things that happened in 2011 have set it up that way. I'm kind of curious about the post I will write a year from now (assuming the Mayans were wrong, of course). Where will I be and what will I be doing? For some reason I think it is going to be totally different than where I am now...

Impact

So many times I think we forget about the impact that we make on others on a daily basis and the impact that others have on us. Lately I've been thinking a lot about the butterfly effect and my freshman and sophomore years of high school. For those of you not familiar with the term, Wikipedia defines the butterfly effect as:

In chaos theory, the butterfly effect is the sensitive dependence on initial conditions; where a small change at one place in a nonlinear system can result in large differences to a later state. The name of the effect, coined by Edward Lorenz, is derived from the theoretical example of a hurricane's formation being contingent on whether or not a distant butterfly had flapped its wings several weeks before.

Although the butterfly effect may appear to be an esoteric and unusual behavior, it is exhibited by very simple systems: for example, a ball placed at the crest of a hill might roll into any of several valleys depending on slight differences in initial position.

The butterfly effect is a common trope in fiction when presenting scenarios involving time travel and with "what if" cases where one storyline diverges at the moment of a seemingly minor event resulting in two significantly different outcomes.

Basically it the thought that one little, seemingly minor, occurrence can have lasting impact on the world around us. This thought is extremely apparent today.

Last night I helped a friend with a Christmas party and was out late and very tired when I got home. I noticed on facebook on my phone that a few people had posted in a group that I am an admin on. This wasn't too unusual as people post in this group quite frequently. This morning I woke up and saw that something like 26 people had posted since the night before. I knew something had to be up and I knew it was probably not good.

This particular group is called "Thank you, Stan Stevenson" and it is a group that started as a way for people to express their gratitude to a wonderful man. Much as I feared when I looked at facebook this morning I was correct in the feeling that I had deep in the pit of my stomach: Stan had passed away yesterday afternoon. Since I wasn't really on facebook I had not seen the outpouring of grief from my high school friends and somehow I had not gotten a text about this (which is really fine because I would have broken down at the party last night).

Stan Stevenson was my high school band director. If you know me then you know that I do not have a musical bone in my body, yet somehow I ended up in band and show choir (high school is weird like that). My best friend was in band in middle school and then in high school joined the color guard. Seeing that she was my best friend, my freshman year I ended up hanging out with all her band friends, most of which were older than us. I had the best times of my life with these people. As the months wore on I ended up helping out with winter guard and ended up on many, many bus trips. Then my junior year I joined guard too and was officially in band. (I'm still wondering how this all happened.)

I would not trade those memories for anything. As I became better and better friends with all of these "band nerds" I also got to know Stan. Stan was the best guy you could ever imagine. His daughter Katie was a year older than me and we were close friends. Stan was the kind of guy that was like a dad to everyone. If you were in any way connected to the band you were one of his "kids."

There were honor roll students and kids that never saw an A on a report card.
There were kids that were outgoing and kids that were ridiculously shy.
There were natural born leaders and those that needed to be pulled out of their shell.
There were popular kids and not so popular kids.
Some had no musical talent and some were destined to keep playing forever.
But they were all Stan's kids.

Whoever you were Stan cared about you. You might have drove him a little crazy at times (you know who you are), but he always cared. He was a constant throughout high school and even after. He always encouraged his kids to do their best. He showed them what they could accomplish and how worthy they were of feeling good about themselves. He was so much more than a teacher and a band director. He was the kind of person that every kid should have it their life during a time that can be dramatic, messy and emotionally damaging.

If you have never experienced what it is like to have 100+ brothers and sisters, all of which you loved and hated at some point during the year, but who you would stand up for no matter what was going on, then you have certainly missed out. I look back at my high school years and know that I can pick up the phone and call any one of them and know that I will still have a friend. How many people can say that they still talk to their high school friends on a weekly, if not daily, basis sixteen years later? Stan made that happen. He had this power to pull this rag-tag group of kids together into an amazing family.

I have so memories with these people that I could write all day. I will spare you that, for now, and probably will pick it up later. One I would like to share was the summer after my freshman year of high school. Everyone always is ready to get out of school when that day in May rolls around. Most people want as far away from the building as possible. If you were in band at Ardmore High School that was simply not the case, though. Our drum line practiced all the time and that summer they did concerts every week, on Tuesday, I think. Not only would the drummers show up, but all the rest of us would pile into the band room and listen to the new cadences that they were learning. C-los (my fav), and Peanut Butter and Jelly and so many more. Now I will admit that there always seemed to be a drummer that I had a "thing" for and that probably made me show up a little more, but hey, what can you do?

The other thing that was pretty amazing about this group was that a section of them put together a jazz band, Java Jazz, that played at Kimberlee's By the Cup in our local mall. These kids just put this together themselves, found a "gig" and we all showed up every Saturday to listen to them and hang out.

Stan instilled such a love of music in my friends that they wanted to keep playing, even though school was out and they didn't have to. That says something.

After learning of the news this morning I was looking at the posts in Thank you, Stan Stevenson, on his personal page, and just throughout statuses amongst my friends. They all said the same thing: how wonderful he was, how he impacted our lives and made us the people we are today. So many times when someone passes away people come out of the wood works to say "nice" things about them, no matter what kind of person they really were. In this case every word is true and we told him all the time. I think that is the one thing that gives me peace in this situation: knowing that we were all very open and honest about our feelings. The posts were not just from kids that I went to school with, but from those that were at the schools before Ardmore and the schools after. One thing remained the same: everyone expressed how much of an impact he made on them.

My last memory of seeing Stan was last fall. I had gone to a football game in Pauls Valley to watch my friend Lisa (also my former high school vocal music teacher)'s son play. One of my friends, Drew, is the band director at Pauls Valley,  having taken over when Stan retired a few years ago. Stan was still an active part of the PVHS band and was at the game. Lisa and I went over and chatted with him for the majority of the third quarter. We were reminiscing and talking about the past and telling funny stories. We were laughing so hard we were crying. While I am sad that I have not seen him in over a year I am so thankful that my last physical memory of him was talking and laughing until we cried. That is exactly how I remember him and how I will continue to remember him.

I think when you look back at high school you might be lucky to have one teacher that might have made a little change in the way you look at life or shaped your world. I look back and realize that I have three. My band director, vocal music director and drama director. (This is why the arts need to stay in schools people!!!! Okay stepping off that soap box.) When I think of how powerful a teacher's influence can be on a child's life I think of these three. What I realize, when looking back, is that not only did they genuinely care about me when I was in school, but they continued to care about me and love me through my life. What started out as a student and teacher turned into a lifetime of friendship. I am sad that there aren't more people that can say that. What I do know is that anyone who was ever one of Stan's kids can say that without hesitation.

I help with a youth group and I love my teens. I'm not a huge fan of small kids, at all, but there is just something about working with teenagers that I adore. They might drive me crazy from time to time (or all the time) but I know what a hard time in life the teen years can be and I know how much I loved my time in high school and I want nothing, but the same from them. I know that this love for this age had to have come, in part, from Stan, Lisa and Carla. I pray that I can have even a fraction of the impact on "my" kids that those three had on me.

I am sad that there are generations of kids that won't get to know what a wonderful man Stan was, but I know that his impact will be lasting through those that he did touch. He made a legacy that will live on forever. Whether to you he was Mr. Stevenson, Stan the Man, Stan, Stev-o, Butch, Papa Stan, or just Dad if you knew him you loved him and knew he loved you and you probably have a story or two that you could tell about him.

Rest in peace Papa Stan. Give Katie a big hug for me. And know that you made a profound impact on my life and I am thankful that I got to be one of your girls.

Stan Stevenson

August 7, 1953 to December 10, 2011

You will be greatly missed.