As I sit down to write this I am looking out my window and watching leaves fall. Yes, it is true fall seems to have arrived. While technically fall does not begin until the 23rd it seems to have arrived in Norman last Sunday. I woke up Sunday morning to go to church and almost had to go back in to get a sweater. Fall had certainly arrived.
To reinforce the coming of fall even more Saturday we came to the conclusion that my pump for the pool had died a sad and pitiful death. I made the (responsible) decision to go ahead and close the pool. So also while I look out my window as I type I see a sad, sad pool with a cover on it. In reality I wouldn't have the time to get it back to clear (lots of algae issues this season) before it was time to really close it. I can have the pump replaced this spring and get it vacuumed and throw in A LOT of chemicals and it will be fine.
The conclusion of the pool season is always sad and this one seems a bit more melancholy. In a little over six months I will open the pool for the 2012 season. In the time that the pool is closed a lot of decisions about my future will be made.
I have a love/hate relationship with this particular season. For the most part the idea of fall makes me giddy, however the reality of it always seems to make me sad. You have football game after football game, fairs, school is back in session, church stuff starts up again full swing, as does Junior League, you enjoy crisp weather, beautiful trees, An Affair of the Heart, Halloween, Thanksgiving, the beginning of hot chocolate weather, and cuddling weather. All of these are things that I LOVE, however they also all tend to revolve around "couple-dom".
I am happy with where I am in my life and I would under no circumstance change it, but it still seems to make me a little sad. The majority of my relationships of the past have seemed to either start or end in the fall, so when the weather turns cold after the drudgery of the summer months I tend to be a bit reflective and kind of sad. Looking back I'm glad for every relationship that has ended, however it does bring back those feelings of intense sadness.
I am still in a mood where I am solely focusing on myself and being the best me I can be to prepare me for the adventure I have planned after graduation in May. When I go through these feelings of melancholy it tends to reinforce that I am right where I am supposed to be and am going right where I need to be.
So even with the mix of happy and sad that I feel during the fall I know that something big is forming just under the surface. I cannot wait to see where I am when I open the pool in March. Big things are coming.