This is the story of one that came into my life and left very quickly.
I knew this person for about a year and a half before I ever noticed him. Granted, during that time I was in a relationship, I had just gotten engaged and I was the good girl that certainly did not look at other guys. Well then the wedding got called off and I had to reevaluate everything. During the engagement I had avoided, at all costs, making new friends. At $30 a head for the plated dinner new friends were expensive. I could have new friends AFTER the wedding. After the wedding was called off I opened myself up again, and that meant making lots and lots of new friends.
This guy was one of them. I added him on facebook (along with a bunch of other people). I had never noticed that he was pretty darn cute and had really pretty eyes until one day that he commented on a picture I had posted some time before (thus proving that he was looking at my profile) and asked the story behind it. I facebook chatted him (oh the things we use as verbs these days) and we talked for a few hours. There was flirting, though at the time and how totally out of practice I was I didn't notice it. This rocked along for a month or so and all of a sudden (really came out of nowhere) I had a crush. A crush? What did that look like in my post engagement world? Well I wasn't really sure.
Here are some observations I made, both good and bad.
- When I like a guy I have a tendency to take on their interests: this one liked obscure music, I wanted to go to South by Southwest (This is a quality I need to work on, being interested in things a guy likes is fine, changing how I feel about things because they like something is not fine. In this case it was okay, I've always liked obscure music, I just got a little mainstream for awhile, however there was a moment with a guy when I started watching the news everyday because he was more "worldly" than myself and frankly that's just not me! I got over that fairly quickly :) )
- I am painfully shy: I got embarrassed at the little things that in the past of our relationship I would have felt totally normal doing
- I went to Austin (see Day Ten for the implications of this trip)
- I learned about BOLD: I got the courage to take the bull by the horns and actually invite him to do something
- When I get a crush on someone they, within a short amount of time, find the love of their lives and run away to be with them or get married (that is a blog post for another day because this has happened, seriously at least ten times)
- I could really, truly like someone that was not my ex fiance.
That was an eye opener. I got my feelings hurt with this crush (they don't call them crushes for nothing), as he ended up in a relationship, moved away and (as I realized a few days ago) unfriended me on facebook. I think he came into my life at the right time though. In him I realized that I could still have feelings about someone else. The ex was not the only guy in the world: he was an important part of my life, but I was far from dead and there is plenty of time and opportunity to meet someone else.